Yankland – Let’s Elaborate

now, to be honest, ive never really liked america, its full of fat, lazy people who seem to think that bigger is better. green is good. and that all of us brits talk like butlers.

now, i know we have our fair share of sterotypes towards them, but lets be honest, ours…are right.

i mean, most americans are fat and stupid. clarkson proved this when he went to the land of the free.

“Can you name 5 countries near Scotland?”

“Europe, Asia, Africa..”

i mean, come on. youve got one of the best education systems in the world. yes ill give you your due, the nations run by a rickety old man with a monkey face and a toothpaste fetish, but is that really an excuse to follow in his shoes and become lowlife, lazy idiots.

and you know what, i hope a clever yank posts on this website and tells me how very wrong i am, because that may give me just a glimmer of hope for our big brother. in fact, that would make my day.

rawrling

scotland

now, dont get me wrong the scottish have done great things. the made the kilt, and the accent given to the Wee Free Men.

but apart from that, what exactly have they done?

i mean

sir alex ferguson, hes won 10 or so league titles, but who actually likes the red faced, constantly chewing jock.

i can practically see the tumbleweed

rawrling

cricket

another rant be me

the one who rants for the sake of ranting

now, i could baffle you with jargon till the cows came home

i could shout googley googley yorker swing spin at you until i ran out of breath and inevitabely passed out

all i can say is this

cricket, is like, a soap opera

drawn out, yet, entertaining in a screaming shouting “is this baby mine?” kind of way.

you can either love it, or hate it, so i suppose marmite would have been a better comparison but no matter

so, remember kids, always listen to the umpire, except when he says youre out in which case you should run up to him and beat him with your bat

or the wicket

remember,  no42 does not support violence in any way

except on the an/rulemaker/guy

VOTE ELMO

rawrling

Leeks

Now, im not being picky here, victimizing a poor innocent vegetable. i don’t hate vegetables. i dont call a club every thursday at 7pm to plot the ultimate revenge on the carrot family (Or does he??? – mwuk). i dont formulate master plans to wipe out the pea population. I merely think that leeks, are shit.

when you think about it its a fair enough presumption to make. I mean they’re all green, and soggy.

i think the main problem nowadays is the cooks of leeks, the ones who make them soggy, and detesting.

i call upon you, people of the world, to stride forth and make a superior, less soggy, more crunchy, and exciting leek. if you do so, i will award you with a grand prize.

ok a prize.

alright, no prize, quit mithering me.

but anyway, remember kids, the leek is your trusted friend, and elmo says you must love it with all.

rawrling