Yankland – Let’s Elaborate

now, to be honest, ive never really liked america, its full of fat, lazy people who seem to think that bigger is better. green is good. and that all of us brits talk like butlers.

now, i know we have our fair share of sterotypes towards them, but lets be honest, ours…are right.

i mean, most americans are fat and stupid. clarkson proved this when he went to the land of the free.

“Can you name 5 countries near Scotland?”

“Europe, Asia, Africa..”

i mean, come on. youve got one of the best education systems in the world. yes ill give you your due, the nations run by a rickety old man with a monkey face and a toothpaste fetish, but is that really an excuse to follow in his shoes and become lowlife, lazy idiots.

and you know what, i hope a clever yank posts on this website and tells me how very wrong i am, because that may give me just a glimmer of hope for our big brother. in fact, that would make my day.

rawrling

America

America is best described as ‘that place opposite Europe, with the shaven monkey president’.

It is rather quite bizarre.

For example 65% of Yanky-Doodles don’t have a passport whereas 57% haven’t visited more than 3 states?

It is the land of obesity, drugs, guns, idiots, branded rounders, weird shaped footballs, the YEEEHAAA!!!! accent, the governator and really thin ‘chips’.

To be honest, its crap.

Despite new taxes for greenmobiles, SUVs with an AA battery strapped onto the engines are classed as green. By that logic, a 12 pack of duracells is curing cancer, stopping global warming AND saving poor defenceless Seals.

I mean what????

It proves that to be in charge of something it doesn’t matter if you’re intelligent, just as long as the voting population like the fact you own a rounders team. Granted Labour currently owns a major bank and sponsers Newcastle United (Tax money well spent?- NO). But that was just so that 74 year old Dorothy can carry on ganining 6.2% interest on her savings of £3.78.

It would be like making Sir Shuggs, Sir Alan Sugar, Prime Minister. In fact hold that thought that may just be an idea…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

No… Elmo’s better.

VOTE ELMO

mwuk

Weekly Round-Up

Welcome to the first of many weekly round-ups! These will incorporate Quote(s) of the week, Website(s) of the week, news/web article of the week and picture of the week.

Quote of the Week

JR: Are you STILL playing slaps?

Website of the Week

footytube

-Flash footy videos

News of the Week

Netherlands 4-1 France

Picture of the Week

mwuk

DISCLAIMER

The thoughts expressed on this blog are completely biased and TRUE.

Any offence taken by the readers by this blog is purely coincidental intended.

scotland

now, dont get me wrong the scottish have done great things. the made the kilt, and the accent given to the Wee Free Men.

but apart from that, what exactly have they done?

i mean

sir alex ferguson, hes won 10 or so league titles, but who actually likes the red faced, constantly chewing jock.

i can practically see the tumbleweed

rawrling

England’s (lack of) Success in Sport

Why, may I ask are England crap at sports?

I mean we invented most of them:

• Footy
• Tennis
• Badminton
• Gurning
• Cheese-Rolling
• Suedohkoo (Sudoku)

It makes no sense, theres always someone who has a dodgy accent who claws their way to victory. Chelsea managers for example. Even Sir Alex Ferguson has won the prem more than most Englishmen. I’m sure there’s some scottish blog moaning about an English person winning the SPL, but who cares?

They’re scottish.

We’re English, we hate scots so much we built a big wall and bombed their airports.

It’s not right.

mwuk

cricket

another rant be me

the one who rants for the sake of ranting

now, i could baffle you with jargon till the cows came home

i could shout googley googley yorker swing spin at you until i ran out of breath and inevitabely passed out

all i can say is this

cricket, is like, a soap opera

drawn out, yet, entertaining in a screaming shouting “is this baby mine?” kind of way.

you can either love it, or hate it, so i suppose marmite would have been a better comparison but no matter

so, remember kids, always listen to the umpire, except when he says youre out in which case you should run up to him and beat him with your bat

or the wicket

remember,  no42 does not support violence in any way

except on the an/rulemaker/guy

VOTE ELMO

rawrling

A Brief History of World War 2

mwuk

Gravatars are up

I have added Gravatars to comments so if you register @ Gravatar a nice little pic will appear next to your name and just remember little pictures make people happier and less violent.

mwuk

Cheetahs

mwuk